


How George Michael Became a Truant

by orphan_account



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Cousin Incest, Playing Hooky, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-31
Updated: 2007-07-31
Packaged: 2019-08-27 06:12:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16696972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Maeby and George Michael play hooky.





	How George Michael Became a Truant

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How George Michael Became a Truant](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/434563) by controlld_chaos. 



At the breakfast table that morning, everybody was dressed for their day except Maeby, who was still in her flannel pajamas.

"I can't go to school today," she said firmly.

"Why not?" her mother asked.

That haughty tone of voice she had grated on Maeby worse than nails on a chalkboard.

"I'm sick," she said firmly.

"Oh, you're fine."

This was true, but most of the lies in Maeby's life ('I live in a mansion with my cousin and his family'; 'My dad is a doctor'; 'I don't have a crush on my cousin') sound truer than the realities, so she has come to rely on them.

"I'm sick. I'm staying home."

"Fine, do what you want," Lindsay said dismissively.

"Well, who's going to stay home with her?" Michael asked.

"I sure can't. I have an audition," Tobias said proudly. "You may be looking at the next Christopher Lowell in his new biopic: _The Interior Outsider_."

The entire table rolled their eyes clockwise, like clockwork.

"What about you," Michael asked Lindsay, "You don't have a job."

"Somebody in this house has to go shopping, Michael."

"That is true; we're almost out of milk. Don't forget to get some – I'll leave you a note before I head to work."

"Do they sell milk at Neiman Marcus?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, that's great. You're leaving your sick kid home to go shopping for clothing you can't afford."

"Michael, she's not sick. She just doesn't want to go to school."

"Then send her to school if she's not sick."

"But she might be sick," Lindsay shrugged. "It's a catch-32."

"It's a catch 22. And it's not. Well, maybe your Uncle Gob can keep an eye on you," Michael said.

"Yeah, like he kept an eye on those doves? Or the yacht? Or his spot in the magician's alliance? Or the assistant he actually did cut with that saw during the cut in half trick?" Maeby asked sarcastically.

"You're right, you're safer on your own," Michael said.

"My little girl is growing up. It seems like just yesterday I was sprawled out on the couch in my pajamas, nowhere to go, no responsibility," Tobias said, tussling her hair.

"That was yesterday," Michael corrected.

"So wait – you're just going to leave Maeby home all alone? What if something happens?" George Michael asked.

Maeby glared at her cousin. His well-meaning ways were going to end up costing her an afternoon away from both school and her family – the holy grail.

"I'll be fine. I'll lock the door."

"What if there's a burglary? Or a fire or something?"

"I'll stop, drop and rock or whatever it was."

"Roll, Maeby, it's roll," her cousin said.

"Stop, drop, rock and roll. See? I'm all set," she said.

Everybody rolled their eyes yet again, too tired to argue. George Michael shook his head.

And that's how Maeby got to stay home from school Monday.

 

* * *

 

George Michael said goodbye and walked out the door; he headed for the school bus but turned down a side-street a block early. Watching the big yellow bus leave from the bushes, he felt a certain terrified thrill.

What was he doing?

He was skipping school, playing hooky. For the first time in his life. He felt alive in a terribly new way. He was breaking a rule for her.

For Maeby.

He justified it this way: staying home with her and taking care of her while she was sick was more important than going to school.

Even though he was sure she was just fine…but what if a fire really did break out? She'd stop, drop and forget the rest. And rolling was the key part!

He walked around the block three times, his palms sweaty, to make sure he gave everyone enough time to leave the house. George Michael dove into a bush when a cop car passed by, terrified he'd be forever labeled a truant and never get a good job. The car cruised by oblivious to his crime.

An eleven-minute-long eternity later, he put his key in the front door of the model home and walked inside.

"It's just me," he called out to Maeby, "your cousin, George Michael Bluth."

That was dumb, he thought to himself. What other cousin would it be?

"Good," she shouts from the living room, "I thought it was flaming burglars coming for me."

He laughed then and walked to the living room.

Maeby glanced at the clock on the cable box and said, "You missed the bus, George Michael."

"I know. I'm staying home to take care of you," he said.

She looked happy and sad at the same time. Maybe she was happy that he wanted to take care of her; maybe she was sad because nobody else wanted to.

"Okay. You know, I could really use some orange juice right now," she said.

"Coming right up," he said, happy to get it for her.

 

* * *

 

Maeby could not believe what was happening. Whenever she asked her mother or father to do something for her, get her something, make her feel better when she was sick, they complained. But George Michael had done everything she asked – and more. He brought her a blanket before she even asked for one; he must have seen her shiver in the air-conditioned living room.

And she wasn't even sick.

She felt guilty about it, kind of, only because he was so nice to her.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked, bringing her in a big bowl of chicken noodle soup for lunch.

"No," she said, "Just some company. Sit down."

She was watching daytime television – Maury to be exact.

"Which of these 20 men is my baby daddy," George Michael flatly read the text on screen.

"A classic episode," Maeby smiled.

They giggled as they watched a hysterical, overweight woman throw herself on the ground when Maury told man number 18, "You are not the father!"

It felt good to laugh at somebody else's family for a while.

"I could see Uncle Buster ending up on a daytime television show: I'm 35 and my mother still makes my lunch," George Michael laughed.

"Or Gangee – my husband's in jail and I'm sleeping with his long haired hippy brother."

"Or Gob – I swear, I thought my assistant was 17."

"Or Annyong: my adoptive mother sent me away to school and then forgot."

They laugh loudly.

"Oh, that lucky Korean," Maeby sighed.

"You wish you could get away," he said, half question, half statement.

"Sometimes," she replied.

"Now?" he asked.

She put his hand over his.

"No."

 

* * *

 

An hour after he had risked being forever branded a truant by roving cops or neighbors while walking store to get Maeby ice cream ("My throat hurts," she had lied in a scratchy voice), George Michael's cousin looked at him and said, "I have a confession to make."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm not sick. I wasn't this morning. I just didn't want to go to school. I'm sorry I let you do all that stuff for me because you thought I was sick." She said it like she meant it.

"Maeby, I like taking care of you," he said softly. "You deserve that."

He couldn't manage a single word, couldn't even think, before she kissed him, suddenly and strongly, on the mouth.

He parted his lips and there was her tongue – her tongue! Maeby's tongue! – and he almost panicked and forgot to breathe. He could just imagine her having to explain to his father how he suffocated, could almost see the title of the Maury episode: "Kissing Cousin Asphyxiates." But then he remembered his nose and managed to survive the kiss.

He suddenly realized he had not thought about Ann even once all day.

Then the sound of a car pulling up outside the house startled them, and he broke the kiss.

"Somebody's home," Maeby said.

They moved to opposite ends of the couch, trying to look casual. George Michael checked his watch – it was time to be home from school, he was safe from the truant label.

"I really liked spending the day with you, George Michael," she said sweetly.

George Michael thought the pretty look on her face would have been worth being labeled a truant on his permanent record.

He smiled and said, "I have a confession to make, too. I knew you weren't sick."

"Then why did you do all that stuff I asked?" she asked.

That was simple. All he had to do was repeat her own words.

"I liked spending the day with you."

For a perfect moment, George Michael thought she might kiss him again, but then the door opened to reveal Gob, who muttered, "Stupid fireball trick finally works and it takes out my damn eyebrows!" and the moment was gone.


End file.
